Left Handed Letter

Happy Birthday to ME!

2008-12-21T13:43:00.002-05:00

So, I'm 39. All I want for my birthday is for the Giants to beat the Carolina Panthers tonight. That's it. That's not too much to ask, is it? GO BIG BLUE!!!

And also

2008-11-14T19:24:00.001-05:00

I'm starting a new job on Monday. After 11 years in my previous position. The stress angels are all up in my face these days.

RRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGG

2008-11-14T19:14:00.002-05:00

Seriously, Internet. I am just angry. My head hurts from how hard I am clenching my teeth. And I can't figure out a way to stop being so angry. A large part of my anger stems from my enormous frustration with my husband and my complete inability to figure out a way to fix the situation that includes a satisfactory punishment. I literally cannot win. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? How am I in a 14-year-long situation on which I CAN'T gain any meaniful tread. FUCK!

Biting my nails.

2008-11-04T18:46:00.002-05:00

So, today is Election Day and the die (at least, MY die) is cast. I can't even begin toexpress how nervous and hopeful and NERVOUS I am about the outcome of this election. WE WANT CHANGE!

If you haven't voted yet, do so now.

Let's Go, GIANTS!

2008-10-07T22:03:00.002-04:00

Yes, my G-Men are undefeated (4-0) here in Week Five of the NFL season. There was a bunch of smack talk (What? In the tri-state area? Smack talk? Surely you jest!) about everything from the Giants recent post-bye-week history to who Mr. Manning could throw to without Plaxico as a target.

Well, football is a team sport, y'all, and the Giants are a TEAM. I am proud to be a fan.

If you don't vote, you're a moron.

2008-09-13T14:45:00.002-04:00

I couldn't have said it better myself. I have always liked Craig Ferguson as an actor, and have grown more and more appreciative of him as a late-night host. My boy does not split hairs, and he does it with a refined mixture of comedy and straight talk that I find both refreshing and comforting.

I'm not unbiased enough to say that I don't care who you vote for, but I will say that if you don't vote, you're a moron. If you don't vote, you can't complain, and that alone should be your inspiration.

A (Filthy) Palate Cleanser

2008-09-04T22:25:00.004-04:00

So, my husband and my brother-in-law are, occasionaly, deft at getting me to refocus my , well let's just call it "energy", to something more positive for me and those around me. To wit:

And:

I am surrounded by peace an serenity.

Be Forewarned: Foul Language Below.

2008-09-04T21:51:00.002-04:00

What? The Fuck.

I'm watching my beloved New York Football Giants in their opening game of the NFL season. The Gints are beating the Redskins and all is right with the world. Fourth quarter, time out for the 2-minute warning. Commercials. Levi's 501 unbuttoned...what...no...oh, no...OH HELL NO.

"If you loosen the buttons, shake off the ropes, baby ain't nothing gonna knock you down?" You know whose going to knock your ridiculous, unbuttoned ass down? Me. I am going to knock you down on my way to ending you and your effort to turn sloppy bullshit into the next jean-wearing trend. Stop interrupting my fucking game with this fucking nonsense.

Gather.

THE GIANTS WIN!!!!!!!!

Countdown!

2008-08-30T18:33:00.024-04:00

I'm not too proud to admit, I loves me a radio top-whatever countdown. New Year's Eve, Memorial Day, Labor Day: those are the big ones. The radio station I'm listening to now has an interesting spin this year: listerners choice--write-in ballots with personal top-5 choices, tabulated into a 500 countdown. I've been randomly tuning in today and I share with you, Internet, in random order, some rockin' awesomeness you never knew you loved:

The King of Wishful Thinking--Go West
Smooth Criminal--Alien Ant Farm
Shakedown--Bob Seger
Uninvited--Alanis Morissette
Always Where I Need To Be--The Kooks
Maniac--Michael Sembello
Jam--Michael Jackson
Save A Prayer--Duran Duran
September--Earth, Wind, & Fire
Shake It--Metro Station
Born To Be My Baby--Bon Jovi
I Miss You Much--Janet Jackson

Here are mine, at least for today:
Tainted Love--Soft Cell (that's not just for today, that's for infinity)

Yeah--Usher, et al.

All These Things That I've Done--The Killers

Falling Slowly--Glen Hansard/Marketa Irglova

My City of Ruins--Bruce Springsteen, the version from the 9/11 telethon. Sing it, Bruce.

What would you pick if you had to narrow it down to five songs?

A Meme new to me

2008-08-22T01:02:00.003-04:00

I'm sure this has made more rounds than are countable, but I saw it today for the first time and got tagged through a board that introduced me to the internet about 15 years ago. Come on. I know you want to play.

I Am: Hopeful, against my better judgement
I Want: Cake
I Have: a new computer
I Wish: I win the lottery
I Hate: more things than I can list here, but let's start with hangnails
I Fear: gravity
I Hear: The Killers--All These Things That I've Done (I've Got Soul, But I'm Not A Soldier). LOVE!!!!
I Search: for ways to maintain balance
I Wonder: what will happen if it all falls down
I Regret: broken hearts
I Love: Mia and Jackson
I Ache: all over, lately
I Always: deflect
I Usually: eat what I shouldn't
I Am Not: what I used to be
I Dance: always, in my heart
I Sing: the body electric
I Never: give in
I Rarely: give up
I Cry: boy, do I
I Am Not Always: mean, angry, stubborn, no matter what they may say
I Lose: focus, hope, my way
I'm Confused: more often than I used to admit
I Need: love, love, love, love, love
I Should: stop making excuses
I Dream: of change
I'm wearing: a shield

Tag. You're it.

Yankee Stadium

2008-08-22T00:15:00.000-04:00

The "I'd Rather" Wall

2008-07-26T10:49:00.004-04:00

I was inspired today by the word of the day on Who In The What Now, which was "Graffiti." This was my word association:

"When I was a young, impressionable youth on the streets of Philadelphia, my hoodlet friends and I would hang out on the “I’d Rather” wall, smoking things and generally making a nuisance of ourselves, in the alley behind the 40th street arcade (I know, I sound like a S.E. Hinton book). Someone had apparently interuppted a graffiti artist mid-tag on this particular wall because it read “I’d Rather —”. We came up with a million different things he/she may have wanted to say, as well as a million and one things we would’ve said. It was the best wall in Philly."

I lived in West Philly from ages 11-15, and those were years that molded me as a person more than any other stretch of time. Not all good times and not all bad. But the times on the "I'd Rather" wall were all good. I wonder if University Pinball is still there...

Dance of Joy

2008-07-16T21:37:00.003-04:00

I can't stop watching this. It makes me cry tears of joy.

I sent it to Cleverly-Named-Later. This was her response:
"I absolutely cannot stop smiling after having watched that. I love it. Thanks for sending. It is exactly how I feel these days."
Have I mentioned that she got a new job?

The Gurgaon, India dance is exceptional. Yes, Internet, there is still joy in this world.

Dr. Horrible

2008-07-15T14:39:00.000-04:00

So awesome.

Teaser from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog on Vimeo.

Constant Hope

2008-07-15T10:52:00.003-04:00

So, Cleverly-Named-Later has decided on a blog name....drumroll....

I introduce the Internet to: Cleverly-Named-Later!

Wait, what?

Yes, Internet, Cleverly-Named-Later loves her blog name and says it gives her a feeling of constant hope that we will surely be clever in the future.

Must be nice, getting a new job.

Seriously. We can.

2008-07-11T23:10:00.001-04:00

YES. WE. CAN.

Spontaneous Applause! Enthusiastic Cheer!

2008-07-11T21:29:00.003-04:00

Cleverly-Named-Later has landed her dream job working for a major PBS station. In her honor, here is a portion of my very favorite Muppet production from 1971.

I've no doubt that her soon-to-be former employers have an "Expression Of Regret".

Yes, Jason Mraz

2008-07-11T21:17:00.002-04:00

I'm yours.

Swoon.

Happy Birthday Mom!

2008-06-30T23:47:00.001-04:00

I love you and I'm so happy that you didn't kill me when I was a teenager.

So, I think I can love dancing shows.

2008-06-18T22:41:00.001-04:00

My new favorite show, people. So You Think You Can Dance?

I do think I can dance. I am AWESOME at it.

But, SYTYCD has shown me that there are, apparently, several additional levels of AWESOME that I had previously not heard of (ends sentence with preposition...sainted maternal grandmother's head explodes...ticket to Grammar Hell punched). My awesome, sadly, does not compare to SYTYCD awesome in any way. Maybe I can't dance...

LOG JAM!

2008-06-06T19:48:00.001-04:00

Vince and I took Thing 1 (girlchild) and Thing 2 (boychild) to a local church fair today. Thusly, summer has begun. It, as these things go, was a skosh smaller than the church fairs of my cobwebbed memories. You know, from the being taller effect....but it was still pretty cool.

OK. That was so not what I wanted to say.

Ouch. I just spent a bit too long trying to, unsuccessfully, work through a mental log jam--trying to precisely express my feelings about connecting my memories of local fairs of my youth to taking my kids to one as an adult. I think I pulled something.

You know when you're trying to explain or express a specific circumstance or feeling, and there are too many things that you want to say that, in and of themselves, would work, but none of them are brilliant enough to override the others? That's my log jam. Too many ideas slam into my brain at the same time and some are valid (Some? All!!...Come on!... No?... FINE!), but there are too many to weed through to quickly formulate, hone, and send down to the mouth, or, in this case, the fingers, as a fully-formed idea that springs forth as witty repartee or deft imagery. It's the polar opposite of being verbally poleaxed, but with the same outcome: you can't say what you want to say until after the moment's expiration date.

I'm log-jammed.

The fair was great for the kiddles. I enjoyed the Ferris Wheel way more than I remember ever doing previously, mostly because I took both Things on it myself and neither flipped out. No log jam there, just YAY! LOOK HOW HIGH WE ARE!!

Shower the people you love with love

2008-06-01T17:07:00.001-04:00

Just came back from a baby shower. All in all, less aggravating than others. I decided to sit with my aunts instead of my cousins, which was an interesting and spot-on decision. My Aunt V. (Hairball's sister) and Aunt E. (married, then divorced, then caretaker to Hairball's oldest brother, who passed from ALS) are my version of charming--sarcastic, judgemental, marginally inappropriate, and receptive to my witty repartee.

Let's get started, shall we?

2008-04-09T22:35:00.001-04:00

Ahem.

Far be it from me...yikes...that's one of those things that you say out loud or in your head countless times, but, when you write it, you realize, in a tangible way, the ocean that swirls between the continents of spoken and written language. Which leads me to:

The Left-Handed Letter

My best friend--who I have not, at the time of this typing, asked if she's a.) OK with me blurting out her real name, or b.) what her preference of blogalias would be--was from whom I learned that good writing can be the same as good conversation (although a bit one-sided).

Also, if you survived the above sentence, I should warn you that I have a snow fort full of well-packed and perfectly-sculpted commas, and I'm not shy about throwing them. At your head. Seriously. You should duck.

Well, don't say I didn't warn you.

Also? I'm easily distracted. Try to contain your shock.

O.K., where was I...right--the Left-Handed Letter.

When my best friend, who shall be Cleverly-Named-Later, and I were freshmen (freshwomen? really?) in college--she at Boston University and I at Cornell--we wrote each other letters regularly. Yes, Internet. Letters. On paper. With pens and envelopes and stamps and ZIP CODES. I know, I know. You need a moment to gather yourselves. I'll wait...

I was majoring in Landscape Architecture and had a wonderful drawing teacher who taught me a frillion things about view and space and myself, and one day encouraged our class to try to do several things, including drawing, left-handed (or opposite-handed--please, Internet, don't start sending me hate-email after my first post). I thought this was a brilliant idea, since a.) I brush my teeth and shoot pool left-handed, thusly, can use my random-handed tendencies for positive gain, and b.) anything this guy said was brilliant and I was totally on board with working my brain in any way he told me was beneficial.

Oh, like you've never been an impressionable college student before. Shut up.

So, I thought it would be brilliant to write Cleverly-Named-Later a letter using my left hand. I struggled through a page or two, alternating between rubbing the cramps out of my left hand and giggling at my right-brain-building comic genius. I folded it up, wrote a bunch of dire warnings all over the envelope, and mailed it.

Now, for those of you who are befuddled by the postal actions outlined above, it usually took 3-4 days (DAYS) for a letter to be transported from Ithaca, NY to Boston, MA back in 1987. But Cleverly-Named-Later and I wrote to each other frequently, so I was not surprised when I saw her familiar handwriting covering an envelope in my mailbox 2 days later. What did give me pause was what I saw on the back of the envelope. There was a shout out to my dad (Hairball) in her regular, distinctive print. Then I noticed what I had thought was just random scribbling, like someone's child had gotten hold of a pen and the envelope and swirled a few hieroglyphics. But, after a moment of disbelief, I made out what it said--"warning g'luck"--in Cleverly-Named-Later's left-handed scrawl.

I know, right? Surely, you just got a shiver down your spine.